And while we're here, HEY WHAT UP, INTERNET, KEEP ME COMPANY WHILE I VACUUM UP ANTS:

Today has been declared lurker amnesty day! Have you read me but never commented? Do you surf by occasionally? Here for the capslock? Say hello! You are under no obligation to ever comment or delurk again, but here's a chance to do so in a post just for that.

We are coming up on three months since I was banned for saying "ihearts" on Twitter, and I am here to tell you all that LIFE GOES ON, and it goes on to a place where yeah, you have to run PeerBlock so that the man doesn't sue your ass but twenty-two episodes doesn't mean opening twenty-two new tabs and painstakingly changing the address bar in each from hxxp to http and then finding out that half of them are actually on Rapidshare or are expired Sendspace links or some shit. I AM BACK ON TORRENTS IN A SERIOUS WAY IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

And, just so you're all aware, Demonoid registration is open right now, IF THAT IS SOMETHING YOU ARE INTERESTED IN YOU SHOULD GET WHILE THE GETTING DOESN'T REQUIRE AN INVITE.

FIRST THINGS FIRST: PAST SARAH FELL ASLEEP AT 7:45 PM AND I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER, THIS EPISODE REQUIRED SO MUCH CAPSLOCKING AT DANI AND TORI IN THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH BUT HERE I AM ALONE ON THE INTERNET AT FIVE IN THE MORNING CRAP CRAP CRAP.

[Second things second: Fox 25 aired an ad for their news team during the show. There was a shot of one of their reporters or whoever standing outside the State House saying "which one of these is the dumbest of all?" AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE STATION LOGO AND THE VOICEOVER SAYS "FOX 25'S POLITICAL EXPERTS." Somehow I don't think they intended that to work out the way it did.]

( you know how these posts are always really long? this post is REALLY long. REALLY, REALLY, REALLY. i'd apologize, but you love it. )

1. NBC ordered more Community and Parks&Rec, bringing them each to 25 episodes this season. IF I COULD HAVE ANY TWO SHOWS EXTENDED TO MEGASEASONS, IT WOULD BE THOSE TWO. Actually, false, it would be Bones and one of those, I CAN'T BELIEVE A TWO-MONTH BONES HIATUS IS ON THE SCHEDULE, but hey, more P&R and Community = NEXT BEST THING.

2. I am smack in the middle of my long-scheduled "we'll meet again when you set an end date" reunion marathon with Lost. IT'S PRETTY AWESOME. I have a lot of thoughts that I will save for later, because they mostly have to do with my constant struggle with the fact that I don't like Kate. ANYWAY, HOW COME THIS ISN'T DISCUSSED 24/7???



I personally would like to know how Mac ended up on the island is all. He must be horribly lonely without Dennis.

Also, for a show about plane crash survivors stranded on an island, they sure do find a lot of opportunities to trigger my extreme discomfort with needles.

3. I was going to talk about Monday TV but ended up just harping on about my ongoing problems with the shows even though I actually enjoyed everything that aired this week, so: I know it's tough for high school shows to make the leap to college but CHUCK NEEDS TO GRADUATE FROM THE BUY MORE, The Big Bang Theory's treatment of Sheldon still kind of sickens me, and WHERE IS THE MOTHER. WE ARE A HUNDRED EPISODES IN, WHERE THE HELL IS THE MOTHER?

4. TiVo recorded the "Oscar and Andy go to Canada" episode of The Office, and wow, talk about a mixed bag. Good: Oscar and Andy bro-ing out! Bad: Overhearing Dwight on the line when Andy drunk dials Angela. AWESOME: THIS IS PROBABLY WHERE RYAN'S GOING TO DO HIS PUSHUPS! AWFUL: Pam leaves art school for good so she can start living with Jim in their clown house.

5. AMERICAN IDOL: I WOULD LIKE TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT ALL I WANT IS FOR THE GUY WHO ROBBED A BANK WITH A BB GUN TO WIN.

( WHITE COLLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR )

PS thanks to a freak scheduling occurrence I am at the very beginning of a FULL WEEK OFF OF WORK that will not affect my paycheck or my vacation time. IT IS MAGICAL, I LOVE THE WORLD.

I KIND OF LOVE JIMMY KIMMEL A LOT. Alan Sepinwall linked to this video and called it "brutal," saying that Jimmy completely destroyed Leno. And as I tried for like fifteen minutes [CURSE YOU, COMCAST] to get the friggin' thing to load, I kept thinking to myself "there's no way it's that good," because these things are always complete letdowns for me.

BUT IT WAS NOT A LETDOWN, AT ALL, THE WORD "SIQBURN" FELT INCOMPLETE ALL ITS LIFE AND NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY UNTIL THIS HAPPENED:

ALERT: Season One of Everwood is ten bucks at Target. $9.99 IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL. I really can't recommend it enough, you guys.

CHUCK RATINGS

My personal favorite part: some of NBC's best scripted drama numbers this season

I REALIZE THE COMPETITION FOR THAT TITLE IS NOT EXACTLY STIFF, BUT !!!!!

ETA: This woman is my hero. DEAR LADY WHO WORKS THE DRIVE THROUGH WINDOW AFTER MIDNIGHT: You know I can SEE you, right? All I order is fries and a soda, and both of them are located within my line of sight even though I'm in my car. Why do you stand around not getting my food and let a line of cars full of people who think I'm an asshole with an insanely complicated order pile up behind me? DON'T EVEN PLAY LIKE YOU'RE WAITING FOR A NEW BATCH OF FRIES TO FINISH COOKING, I CAN TELL WHEN I GET THEM THAT THEY AREN'T FRESH.

The NBC/Leno/Conan saga is like my own personal version of an epic post on ONTD. I just talked my dad's ear off about the whole situation for about fifteen minutes straight and didn't even care if he found it interesting or not, because I was interested enough for both of us. AND IT'S RIGHT BEFORE THE START OF THE TCA TOUR, THIS TIMING COULD NOT BE ANY BETTER, HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP. I feel bad for NBC, but in a way that makes me think of this IKEA commercial:



MANY OF YOU FEEL BAD FOR THIS NETWORK, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE CRAZY. IT HAS NO FEELINGS! AND KEVIN REILLY IS BUSY BEING AWESOME AT FOX, SO NOBODY NEEDS TO FEEL BAD FOR HIM.

Also, this means INSANELY good things for Chuck, FNL, Community, and Parks & Rec, because hey guess what, the network has gone and pissed off THE ENTIRE TELEVISION INDUSTRY and if they need to expand their original programming by about 50%, not only are they going to be GENERALLY less inclined to cancel anything, they will also be SPECIFICALLY less inclined to cancel awesome critically acclaimed shows, because they need all the goodwill they can get.

IN CONCLUSION, if they hadn't gotten rid of Kevin Reilly, NBC would probably still be on the rise, not kicking ass like they did in the 90s but CERTAINLY much closer to it than where they are right now: on the verge of turning into ABC circa 2003. WHICH, IF YOU DON'T KNOW, IS AWFUL ON A PRETTY MINDBOGGLING LEVEL.

[I DO, HOWEVER, feel bad for Conan, who is almost certainly going to get screwed by whatever solution to the Leno problem NBC settles on. HE MIGHT JUMP SHIP TO FOX, THOUGH, WHICH WOULD BE CRAZY - CRAZY LIKE A FOX - ON SO MANY LEVELS. I actually hope that happens, it'd be epic.]

Also awesome in recent TV news: STATE OF THE UNION VS. LOST PREMIERE SCHEDULING CONFLICT DRAMA.

Meanwhile, an earnest trade reporter at Variety suggested that Ari Emanuel, the co-CEO of William Morris Endeavor -- the talent agent that represents "Lost" exec producer Carlton Cuse -- should place a call to his brother Rahm Emanuel at the White House to "fix this."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSH. [Unsurprisingly, since February 2 was never formally chosen as the date of the SOTU, Lost won.]

SO, I WAS AT SAVERS TODAY, it was only by sheer force of will that I did not walk out of there with a dozen of every book in this poll plus seven Lizzie McGuire novelizations.

ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS MOST IMPORTANT THAT I STOCK UP ON? Please keep in mind that when it comes to Baby-Sitters Club, Sweet Valley High, and Sweet Valley University, I have read exactly one of each because of some bizarre parenting, so reading them wouldn't be nostalgic so much as retroactively enlightening.

Poll #1508204
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 29

???

OTHER

I FINISHED YULETIDE, EVERYONE. My computer has not been restarted since Christmas because I knew once I closed that window with the insane tab count, I'd never, ever go back. BUT I FINISHED!

Some general observations, first:

( THINGS )

Aaaand the recs:

( 20 recs, by fandom )

[Posting this just to have it on LJ, I KNOW YOU'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE FANDOM, IT'S COOL.]

Title: the burden of his song forever used to be
Fandom: The Tattooed Potato and Other Clues
Word Count: 1500ish.
Summary: Life goes on.
Spoilers: If you have not read the book, this will a) make no sense, and b) spoil you for every single thing that happens.
A/N: Written for marginaliana for Yuletide 2009 and originally posted here. I am pretty sure she and I are the only two people in the entire world who have even heard of this book, and it was completely thrilling-slash-terrifying to get this as my assignment.

The title is from [the original] Isaac Bickerstaffe's Love in a Village:

And this the burden of his song
Forever used to be,
I care for nobody, no, not I,
If no one cares for me.

( Sometimes Dickory misses the way things used to be. )

It occurred to me today that Pam is going to be having the jambaby any week now. Probably not until sweeps, but still. The end is nigh.

ALSO, I MISS YOU GUYS, WHAT'S UP, HOW'S LIFE, ETC, ETC, SORRY I LIVE AT WORK AND SLEEP FOR PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THE TIME I HAVE BETWEEN SHIFTS, I KNOW YOU'RE ALL FEELING DEPRIVED.

The only reason this is not ten episodes of Bones is because a) 25 episodes aired in 2009 and I would not hesitate to call at least 17 of them perfect, and b) each show is limited to one episode. SO.

( my top ten episodes of 2009, no i don't watch as much cable drama as i should )